On 28 December 2021, a friend and a regular fixture at Music in the Mountains gigs, Neill Duncan, passed away. I generally don’t like to share my personal feelings online, however, I suspect there are many of us trying to deal with the loss of our friend and maybe my personal ramblings might resonate. I spent a couple of quiet days away from the world trying to work out how I should be feeling and all I can say is that I am sad. I’m of course sad that I will no longer be able to see Neill at another gig, however, I’m most saddened that a loving and dedicated father won’t get to spend more time with his children. If you’ve never played a gig with Neill, he was always running off as soon as he could to be there with his kids, and those of us behind the music could see how much he loved and adored them.
My personal music journey, when I first started live music at Hotel Blue, involved leaning on the advice and guidance of 4 bands – The Three Handed Beat Bandits (featuring Neill) was one of those bands. I’ve been lucky enough in my life so far not to experience many friends and family passing away, however, the passing of Neill, who I’ve respected and who has helped me on my musical journey has certainly been painful. I’m not saying this as a cry for help – I’m going to be okay . . . I’m saying this for anyone out there who doesn’t know how to feel. It’s okay to be quiet, it’s okay to be teary, and it’s okay to need a little bit of time to work out how you should be feeling. I’m certainly no psychologist, just make sure you talk with someone if you need to. 2021 has been a tough enough year without the loss of another friend, father, husband and bandmate, so if you need a little bit of time on your own, or a bit of time in the company of mates, do so – it’s okay to be a little selfish. Neill won’t be missed – he’s already missed now and I certainly feel that the community is all the poorer for his loss.
To end this on a positive note, however, I’m fortunate that my last memory of Neill was a happy one. Neill, with John Stuart and myself, was doing another Three Handed Beat Bandits live stream in October at Sound Heaven Studios. Neill had bounced back strongly and was recovering from another chemo treatment, and was positively upbeat and happy that he was playing music to a virtual audience. Neill was unusually calm despite a number of technical issues John and myself were dealing with (John and I were very stressed and trying to keep our cool), and Neill was just so happy that his sax was sounding the best it ever had (he had tweaked it to make the bottom end sound even better) and he could play to an audience again. After these live streams, John generally hosts us for dinner where we all sit around as Neill and John make take sarcastic shots at each other over a glass of wine and everyone has a good laugh. This gig, however, Neill ran off as he was itching to get back home to spend some time with his son, Floyd. Despite any emotions, I might feel, I hope that Neill’s children know how much he loved and adored them and I’m so happy that Neill spent another evening with Floyd instead of gas bagging with John and I.
It also brings me such joy that Neill and Naomi married before his passing – Naomi had been such a grounding and warm presence in Neill’s life in the last number of years and it makes me smile to think that Neill passed away painlessly, at home, embraced by his loving wife and children.
Neill my friend, you were a rare breed and you are missed.
Chris (aka Music in the Mountains).
PS: The image used here features James Greening, John Stuart and Neill Duncan. This was a happy day for Neill early in 2021.
